I was very specific when I spoke of bi-racial marriages: BERMUDIAN. Do you see this often? You are right there are tons of bi-racial marriages and I am part of those statistics.

What I am highlighting are no-go areas in the Black/White Bermudian Relations and unless there is a genuine desire on the part of White Bermuda to forego some of those deeply embedded attitudes regarding privilege and entitlement, no progress will be seen.

I see myself as part of the solution, I do not carry hatred for one sector of the community, I am able to walk my talk.

I am a white Bermudian who is married to a black non-Bermudian who happens to be from the same country as Dr. E.F. Gordon, Trinidad & Tobago. Does the fact that my wife is non-Bermudian mean that I cannot contribute to healing the divide in Bermuda?

Does this also mean that since Dr. Gordon was a non-Bermudian, that you do not value his contribution to Bermudian society?

There are tons of bi-racial marriages in present day Bermuda, and there are also plenty of people who have friends of every race at dinner in their houses on a regular basis.

My son will grow up in a Bermuda that has its problems, but I am determined to make it a better place for future generations of Bermudians. I intend to be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

I close with some words from another non-Bermudian that are relevant to this discussion:

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds”

(Bob Marley)

LOL

But all of the above is neither here nor there…the question is where do we go from here? Apology while temporarily appeasing and heartfelt is appreciated. The division between Black and White Bermudian is a long way from narrowing. To that end, I ask each poster, as a Bermudian – when was the last time you had a Bermudian of another race in your home for dinner? How many interracially Bermudian married couples do you know? I was born and have lived here all my life and I only have one White Bermudian friend and don’t know any marriages between Black and White Bermudians. If we could drill down to that level, we might make progress in the meantime, Whites will marry everything but a Black Bermudian and vice versa.

Wow dude you sound like the kkk in movies.

LOL

Or are you just taking potshots?

And? If the reason that you’re doing something is for glory or recognition, then there’s something wrong with your motivations.
“Selfless efforts” are just that. Selfless. That’s why they’re called that.

B) “You should be proud of the advantages your descendants worked hard and smart for over many centuries not wasting time sitting around feeling guilty.”

Um… I think you mean ancestors.

And… proud? Proud of something you had no hand in whatsoever?
No. We should be proud of our own accomplishments, not of what other people did long before we were born…

ESPECIALLY when what those people did was based on an unfair, unequal, barbaric system like slavery or segregation.

I am not.

Our country needs reconciliation, but I personally feel that the process is not helped whenever we become embroiled in party politics (or “politricks” depending on who you talk to).

Future generations of Bermudians deserve our best efforts at healing the divide.

You can only do your own do and letting someone else’s baggage affect your actions is letting them win.

You mentioned the choices blacks make. Well if you think about it the majority of us dont have a choice to go college. Why? Because our parents cant afford it while white families can.

You have advantages all across the board of life. The sad part is, because your not black you will never understand and think were just making bad decisions. Slavery was hundreds of years ago which was followed by segregation then replaced by discrimination even up till today. You were made superior in many ways leaving us as bottem feeders in a population.

We dont need an apology, what we need is equality. Remember only 50 years ago Governments stopped segregating communities. How in those 50 years do you think were going to somehow have no problems mentally and emotionally knowing why we are what we are.

We were and still are disadvantaged. What we have to triple jump to acheive in life, you only have to take a step.

You mentioned the choices blacks make. Well if you think about it the majority of us dont have a choice to go college. Why? Because our parents cant afford it while white families can.

You have advantages all across the board of life. The sad part is, because your not black you will never understand.

Based on your post, you were saying that an abusive interpersonal relationship takes the same amount of time to heal as the relationship lasted, therefore we should apply that logic to the rift between the races.
I see this as flawed, as what you’re saying is that it’s going to take centuries for there to be any healing. I disagree completely and said why.

I don’t disagree with what you said in this latest post, however.
On an even deeper level, we need each other just because we’re all part of this society and, if we want to make it the best place possible for EVERYONE, we have to work together.
The problem is that those with a political, financial or racial axe to grind are, by definition, not interested in making this the best place possible for EVERYONE. They’re looking to get theirs.

what you’ve just said makes more sense.. i for one am much more open to helping equalize things when im not constantly blamed.

My heart has been lifted. I really enjoyed reading your perspective it’s just brilliant! It is extremely insightful and gives me great hope. I am so moved by the fact that there are people like you! Reading your reflections made me feel emotional as I too recognize that we still have some ways to go in Bermuda. I did read the research study to which you are referring, and it does provide such evidence to the Bermuda condition. I just pray that we as a people will eventually someday come together. I do not think we have achieved the goal that Martin Luther King prayed for yet ! I plan to visit London, to go and see the plaque as this would be just awesome to see.
Well done Mark!!

I don’t think it can be “fixed by whites today”, and have never even insinuated that. But I do think that we, as white Bermudians, have a role to play in fixing this. What that role is, I don’t know, but I do know that, as a member of this society, I have a responsibility to help fix what is broken. Not because of my ancestors, not because of my skin colour, but because I love my home and something needs to be fixed.

What we can do about it… figuring that out is the next step, if you ask me. But first, we have to get past this blame game, as it does nothing but cause defensiveness and hurt feelings.

What we ALL need to do is put aside this “YOUR PEOPLE DID THIS TO US!” and “IT’S NOT MY FAULT, SO I DON’T HAVE DO DO ANYTHING!” bullshit and say, together, as a community, “This is broken, how do we fix it?”

Resentments, anger, accusations, blame, rage and bitterness do absolutely nothing to solve the problem.

You can not wish it away. You can not deny it’s existence, you can only hope to make it better. You can only come together as a community and make the difference. Individual apologies are not what’s needed here. It has to be a desire from a nation to acknowledge a legacy of pain and a willingness to heal.

This is beyond political, this is engrained in the social conscience. Mark’s story fuels his path to see a better world. It should inspire us as whites to accept our history, our forefathers damning sins, and fuel a path to make things right. It is long time to remove the “personal” issues. It may not be the most comfortable pair of shoes, but it most certainly wasn’t comfortable for blacks to live through either, many of whom are still haunted by those memories. It is time for us, as whites, to stop deflecting and start reflecting.

We never fail to forget Remembrance Day and celebrate those who survived and remember those who died in the world wars, yet do we (as whites) give the same significance to Emancipation Day? How many of us actually consider those millions of blacks who died as part of the slave trade? How many of us just consider it “the first day of Cup match”? Is that experience too hard for us to fathom?

Mark is inspirational, his story, his family’s past is something that he accepts as his own and his healing continues. He could just as easily committed those sins to his fore-fathers, denied that pain and lived a “normal” life. His heroic efforts to bring his story (HISTORY) to the public should be commended. Our personal healing comes from within, but only as coming together will we heal as a nation.

LOL

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LOL fight long against something and it becomes part of you. Slave mentality is a good example of this. Very much like hostage syndrome if I understand the premise correctly. Is that sort of what you are thinking Portia?

LOL

There are many typical arguments that our defense mechanisms put up so that we don’t have to begin seeing the uncomfortable truths. One of them is we bring up education. We want different levels of education to explain all of the differences in outcomes within the black and white community. It’s funny because one characteristic of the culture of higher education is its value of logic and statistics yet we reject the statistics which prove that education alone is not the answer. For instance one survey showed that whites with no college degree wound up being paid more in Bermuda than blacks with a degree. We don’t want to accept this inequality so our defense mechanisms flare and attack the statistics, question the source, shoot the messenger (in this case me) or assume that those blacks got the wrong sort of degrees. Education helps blacks advance but equally vital in getting ahead is coming across as ‘less black’ through your accent and your cultural choices and by not bringing up race at work. Blacks who do advance up the management hierarchy here do so by aligning with conditions that whites don’t face and aren’t even aware of. There is still so much institutional racism in the workplace that educational achievement will not fix.

Another argument that we are conditioned to bring up when we read something like this article is we point to all the logistical difficulties in reparative efforts. We say “who do we apologize to?” or “how much do we pay and to whom?” Then these questions are seen as a rational reason to shut down the discussion. What they really show is that we don’t want to go down that road. Difficulty doesn’t stop us with things we really want or need. The corporate world solves difficult problems all the time. It’s about motivation and what we deem to be right. People face a tremendously daunting mess after a hurricane or tornado but they find a way to rebuild because they want to. Those questions cannot be the end of the conversation. Practical methods of bringing about reparative effects have been developed around the world. Mark has modeled some of them. There are plenty of resources out there, including at CURE/Human Rights Commission that can guide us in this. It is about will not about difficulty.
Personally I’ve been looking at racism intensely for several years and it’s allowed me to become conscious of all sorts of things I was blocking out before. For instance I’ve seen how things were much easier for my father because he was white. He arrived here in 1950 from England with almost nothing and was able to achieve financially. This was in part due to his education and efforts and temperament. This was also due to the fact that he was deemed more trustworthy by those with financial and political power because he was white. He was not actively blocked from his business ventures as so many blacks were in the 50’s and 60’s. He benefitted from the immigration policies which granted status to whites to help counteract the increasing number of black voters. He was a wonderful kind man so even with the conditioning of the day, he would have been aware of some of the racial inequality and by not speaking out against it he benefitted from that too. I have benefitted in my life and am still handed the psychological edge in many situations to this day because I am white. It has been very painful to see this but it is no longer something I try to bargain my way out of seeing. I have unfairly received monetary and emotional advantages because I am white. I owe a debt and that is that. I simply consider it part of my work now to work to dismantle the systems that have overpaid me. I put time and money towards this cause and will continue to. One of the things I can do is to offer to support other whites who are beginning to question the way things are. It is a disorienting and painful journey so I’d like to be an understanding and supportive ally for them as I continue my own journey.

sure those stigmas and mentalities were caused from slavery and the years of segregation.. obvioulsy if you hear something enough you start to believe it..

what how exactly is that supposed to be fixed by whites today? forgive me if this sounds rude, but do you want whites to pat blacks on the head like children and tell them “its ok, the boogy man is gone, come out from being scared”?

if the blacks who use these stigmas as their view on life actually want to be successful, then they need to NOT see education as an insult, they need to NOT see drugs as cool, and they need to NOT call those who succeed sellouts, but instead use them as role models.

I just do not see exactly what whites can do about this mentality though? Yes it was caused by the evils of the past, but i dont think simply acknowledging and apologizing on an official level will really do anything until this mentality that you described is actually lost by the people who have it.

since those evil days are over, who is the one that carries on this outlook? its the parents who keep telling their children that everythign is the white mans fault and dont expect to amount to anything… you do not have whites telling blacks they are useless, or they deserve to be in low jobs anymore… sure there is still a struggle to make it to the top, but why do parents teach their children from the start that there’s no point in trying? Thats why this negative mentality carries on.

THAT is your response to questions? Attacks and lashing out like a child?

Seriously?

You come in with HORRIBLE accusations against me (I don’t speak for sandgrownan at all. Please don’t lump me in with him.) and when I respond with legitimate questions, you freak out like this?
Nice.

Well done.

That’s a surefire way to change minds and hearts.

It’s not correct. That’s not what I’m saying at ALL. Nor am I saying that following the “victim mentality” is ok.

As for how it affects you, personally, I can’t say. I don’t know you.

But surely you can see that it does and has affected others, can’t you?
The history of abuse, the economic and class disparities, the lowered expectations, the inability for many years of many blacks to actually GET an education, creating a societal stigma we see today where calling someone an “Einstein” is an insult, being into education is a negative, dropping out and selling drugs is cool and sexy and dangerous and successful black folks that DO go to college and get good jobs and take care of their families are called “Sellouts” and “House Negroes” and “Oreo”.
You don’t see ANY of that as being tied to the effects of slavery?

You rose up and got through, and that’s amazing. But it was a struggle, no?
It shouldn’t have been. Not if we had true equality. The fact that it was? That’s what I’m talking about.

and “SISTER, my BROTHER, and certainly not ignorant! I am not judging anyone at all, but…”

Um… you kind of are judging people…

Organic Bermudian – FYI, I am a SISTER, my BROTHER, and certainly not ignorant! I am not judging anyone at all, but i can’t deny what I see around me. I never said that other races didn’t do the same things I mentioned above, because I am sure they do, but we are not talking about other races here. I have always helped my brothers and sisters as much as I can, and will continue to do so. You don’t know anything about me, or what I do for others, so don’t make assumptions.

And can you link to some of those marriage counsellors that say that, and explain how it applies to the racial situation?

See, ‘cuz I don’t see a correlation, as, to extend your metaphor, the couple is still together. Most bad relationships don’t end up like that. The couple usually splits up before there can be healing. That is not, nor can it be, what happened here.

Sorry… it doesn’t fit.

Are you actually saying that the apology is a metaphor? Seriously?

All these calls for an apology from whites ISN’T actually a call for an apology, it’s a metaphor for something else?

Nonsense.

for one, i’d say the vast majority of whites acknowledge the past and its wrongs..
some, including me, can acknowledge that there is some institutionalized racism as well.. im sure it happens…

but the question is, what is it that those blacks that feel so oppressed really want? Do they simply want an apology? well it will be hard getting that from people that werent involved in the slave trade… i wont apologize for what people who are long dead did..

do they want open discussion? if thats the case then stop calling every white person that defends their position a racist. just because they do not think the problem is there, or just because they think blacks should prove they are equal as opposed to having it handed to them does not make them racist. Just because some whites feel that its aall about personal choice, and that the opportunity to go and get an education and work your way up, instead of affirmative, oes not make them a racist. If you want an open discussion, then discuss it… dont simply feel that you can guilt people into handing to you what you want.

thirdly, yes there are all these disparities.. but it starts with education. We have free schooling in bermuda… why is it the white’s fault if you cant get a high school diploma?? finihs high school, work and do courses at bda college… then come talk about disparities of whites vs black BERMUDIANS once you try to enter the career field.

lastly, i do not feel that “legislating” to fix disparities is a good idea. affirmative action is basically the reverse of equal… someone has a better chance of getting a position based on the color of their skin and quota’s. That only breeds contempt, as well as promotes bad work ethics..obviously there are probably many who would use it as a great opportunity, but the availability to abuse the system is too great.

been a long post.. at the end of the day we cna all discuss it and try to fix our issues… but once name calling and demands start coming out then it pretty much kills and chance of proper remedies.