By: Baltic Fury

Baltic Fury — Fri, 11 May 2012 21:15:32 +0000

I always thought ankle bracelets were a little slutty.

By: Debbie Smith

Debbie Smith — Thu, 10 May 2012 12:56:31 +0000

Great job Kim.

By: Darrin

Darrin — Thu, 10 May 2012 11:27:39 +0000

I have a cheaper and more effective solution, its called a 70 pound steel ball and chain tied to their ankle of choice. Oh, and take them on an extended deep sea fishing expedition afterwards.

By: Petty Grump

Petty Grump — Thu, 10 May 2012 09:18:51 +0000

The headlines says ‘bracelets’ in the plural so I guess this means they ordered more than one extra.

Whew!

By: Mountbatten

Mountbatten — Thu, 10 May 2012 08:35:10 +0000

Pest control says, ” For every rat you catch , there’s at least ten more lurking around .” Do the math .

By: Clafe

Clafe — Thu, 10 May 2012 08:15:20 +0000

Oh flep dun, here we go agan wif de draconian solutins…

Puttin a MUG ankl bracelet on sum1, whether they r a crimnal or not, is a cruel n unushual form of punshment. My great aunt Floop-Creesha jus did 46 yerrs hard time up d co-ed facilty at Fairy Reach for stealing a pinto bean from her cousn Gertie in 1966 (d lawz wer diffrent back den…sum ppl say dey were bettr, sum ppl say dey werr worse). NE WAYZ, when she wuz grantd parole in 1987, dey didnt hav such a thing as ankle braclets yet, so instead dey tied a GERT 21-mile rope rond her calf (which wuz also gert) n said 2 her: “gertie, u hav bin on good behavior 4 a stretch now, so we r goin 2 let u out on d condition dat u never ever untie dis rope until ya sentenc is up. Also, 2 make sure ya followin d rulez, we r goin 2 tug on d rope evry once in a while 2 make sure dat u r still dere.” She thougt about it 4 a second n then wuz like “SAFE, DUN” n agreed. Little did she kno dat when they said “once in a while”, dey meant “all d time”. Dey tugged on dat rope so much that Gertie’s calf startd 2 chafe! D chafing wuz so bad dat she had 2 spend all her money on lotionz n creamz n culdnt pay her rent! Eventully she got fedup, took off d rope n tied it to her cousn Flertie’s prosthetc leg (who weighs 700 ponds n is bed-ridden wif mug-vein thrombosis ne wayz so she didnt mind). Unfortntly 4 gertie, d parole offcer fond out bout her ruse n threw her back in jail 4 d remander of her sentence plus 436 extra yerrs 4 bein tired. she is now suing d correctionz board (justifibly in my opinon) 4 excessve punishmnt, but d odds Rnt in her favvor…

I guess wut um tryin 2 say is if we keep allown dese ankle bracelets, wuts next? NOSE bracelets?! TOENAIL bracelets?!?!?! Dis medness has got 2 stop b4 we r all walkn around encasd in giant electrnc bracelts from head 2 toe like somfin from “1984″. Dont get me wrng…i undrstand dat we hav to discorage crime, but not if its at d cost of R humanity n my aunt Floop-Creesha’s cousin gertie’s chafy thighs.