Comments on: Student Stands With Sign: “I’ve Been Rude”

By: Bermy Greens

Bermy Greens — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 11:38:24 +0000

@ Cathy your probably one of thos people after hearing about some kids breaking an entry or bullying or stabbing another kid sitting in your house saying it starts from the parents at home and the parents should have been more into thiose kids lives and know where he or she is at all times ! Well you know what I commend this father he has b@lls to stand up to his kid now a days most parents are afraid of them ! I have 2 boys myself and trust you me when they deserve a cut azz they get one ! there is no abuse here just straight up good old fashioned parenting! I bet this boy learnt his lesson and will think twice before he acts out again in school !

By: young observer

young observer — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 09:20:37 +0000

I go plenty of spanks from my parents but never for the same things. Usually when you get a good spanking you smarten up enough the next time to either not do the same thing wrong or to not get caught lol. I got the cane in West End primary school and the belt at Sandys middle school. Corporal punishment was very healthy for me. It teaches you that there are harsh consequences for your actions in the real world. It also brings back that time old lesson, there is a time and place for everything.

I am very grateful for all the licks I got, it has kept me out of trouble. #ThankGodigotlicks

By: young observer

young observer — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 09:03:18 +0000

It called tough love, the boy will thank his dad for this later in life.

By: Oh,I see now

Oh,I see now — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 03:29:48 +0000

Also lets see what history has taught us about the wearing of signs/symbols of a way public humiliation. How about the Scarlet Letter, Yellow Badge for Jews and Public Bare Footedness as a sign of Slavery. I believe that the majority of people would agree that this was cruel and mean and hateful and none would want to repeat these heinous crimes against humanity.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
We are talking about a child that was out of hand in school not putting an entire race into slavery or the genocide of another…..I like your spirit but you are reaching on this on.

Apples and oranges me thinks.

By: Oh,I see now

Oh,I see now — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 03:17:11 +0000

If this father was doing this for every simple infraction I would say enough is enough but this doesn’t appear to be the case.

By: Oh,I see now

Oh,I see now — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 03:11:43 +0000

The people who are against what this father has done should shake his hand for keeping one less thug out of gang members clutches.Cooper I applaud the work you do for children lord knows some need the assistance,but you are wrong on this one.This same son will thank his father years from now,being a parent myself I have learned to appreciate tough parenting after becoming one.

By: Barracuda

Barracuda — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 02:44:15 +0000

we should shame predators .

By: D

Thu, 04 Dec 2014 00:53:42 +0000

Todays kids r very rude!

By: tom cooke

tom cooke — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 00:00:52 +0000

I remember when I was a kid…. many years ago … I messed up my father took a stick to me … and put me in my room for 2 days… did I learn anything.. sure did.
I have 4 grown up children and a small boy ..8.. I gave up spanking many years ago… but they all know about a good poke in the chest. .. and apart from one of my boys spending a night in jail for outstanding warrants. .. ( and while he did not enjoy that he definitely learned his lesson) they all turned out ok.. but as a father..ex army and ex police a loud voice and a three works wonders…

By: Vanja

Vanja — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 22:33:45 +0000

People are forgetting that children need to know who is in charge. Parents!! Once upon a time, if you didn’t get disciplined at home, you would at least get it at school. I am 34 and have had licks, been grounded, had to write lines/paragraphs, all because I didn’t follow instructions/ wasn’t obedient. For some children none of these punishments are necessary, but every child is different and must be treated as such. As I look to the older generations for answers, I have a hard time telling who is pyschologically, emotionally, and physically damaged. Especially since it was even harder in those times. Are the older, so-called wise ones trying to tell us that what worked for them, isn’t good for us??!! Maybe thats why anti-social behavior, and disrespect in all forms are on the rise, but its nothing that an old fashioned back hand won’t fix.
Sincerely,
Raised in a traditional, old school Bermuda home

By: Stunned...

Stunned... — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 22:33:09 +0000

…ship them off to boarding school.

By: Stunned...

Stunned... — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 22:26:54 +0000

@Cathy, the men in prison as you suggest received an abundance of punishment. Please do not equate punishment with discipline. What these men lacked was good parenting; good guidance without the necessity for physical correction. The issue with good parenting is that it takes time and lots of it, patience when they – the kid(s) get on your last nerve, the restraint not to resort to using your hand but to use your mind and appropriate language to teach/train/engage your child. Yes, I speak from experience.

Every child as you know is different, perhaps this method was the last arrow in this father’s quiver. It is really difficult to prescribe the best way without knowing all the facts.

What would make my day would be for both father and son back at the roundabout wearing the same sign: “We Worked it out!”

By: Aye Buh

Aye Buh — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 21:48:58 +0000

People shouldnt tell people how to raise their child. If the father thought tht was best then thts end of story….sure there are ways to go about things but different strokes for different folks i agree with this

Sooner or later people will start saying all punishment is wrong lol XD

By: animallover

animallover — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 20:06:54 +0000

They probably didn’t because their Fathers were either out partying or high.

By: animallover

animallover — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 20:03:44 +0000

Well said, Kunta.

By: animallover

animallover — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 20:02:11 +0000

I agree with you Tough Love and I bet he’ll NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. TOO BAD SO SAD.

By: Dee

Dee — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 19:29:07 +0000

GO DADDY!!

By: Ty

Ty — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 18:52:50 +0000

I’ve seen the question asked a few times in this forum. “What do you consider appropriate punishment”. Strange enough, NOT ONE person has answered. WOW – Scary. How many of you agree that the so called — take away the cell phone – no TV – no internet – no going outside works. My teen years were the early to mid 70′s. Back then you would have been getting a cut a$$ while you’re standing on East Broadway and you better wave and say good morning to everyone going by.

I live in a area with PROBLEM CHILDREN (beybey’s kids I call them) where I was in MY living room trying to watch a lil TV. Kids (12 to 16) were literally outside of my window doing what kids do – which is perfectly fine… but I politely asked “Do you guys mind moving down just a bit so I can hear my TV please? You know what i got. TURN YA EFFIN TV UP. This is no lie. It took every ounce of strength out of me NOT TO GO OUTSIDE and kick the sh!t out of those kids.

A good a proper CUT A$$ worked just fine for me. I WILL DO THE SAME TO MINE. and if Ms Cooper or anyone else bitches or complains then YOU TAKE THE CHILDREN.

By: Concerned

Concerned — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 18:45:32 +0000

I agree. I think we need a program like this in our schools in Bermuda. http://www.rootsofempathy.org/

By: Real

Real — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 18:34:30 +0000

Cathy talking about humiliation ! How many kids have humiliated there parent by going before the courts for gun and drug crime! The boys feelings mite be hurt but all of are kids need to understand everything that we do has a consequence!

By: Concerned

Concerned — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 18:26:58 +0000

I agree! We need a program like this in our schools in Bermuda. http://www.rootsofempathy.org/

By: whatwillittake

whatwillittake — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 17:58:26 +0000

Oohhhh boooo hooooo…..his little feeling are hurt???? Really? I bet you a cut a$@ that he will think twice before acting up. I would rather see him with a sign around his neck now versus having him in handcuffs and orange jumpsuit later on.

By: Smart Gal

Smart Gal — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 17:47:44 +0000

Disrespect of others stems from lack of self respect. Self respect is learned at an early age and for the most part is learned in the home. A loving, respectful environment led by respectful parents, elders, teaches children self respect and translates/evolves into respect of others. So now guess where this young man learned his disrespect of others.

Remember the Golden Rule? Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. This applies to parenting, not just how people want to be treated as an adult.

Now let us wonder what lessons the young man really learned this morning.

By: sadday

sadday — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 17:40:07 +0000

Completely agree, I think there was nothing wrong with this action and that it will have taught the kid a lesson. Nobody likes to be embarassed, and hey if that’s what it takes to straighten him out, I’m all for that. Better than him beating the kid up. I commend this father and don’t honestly care if anyone thinks otherwise.

By: Ray

Ray — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 17:30:10 +0000

To add to my previous comment, now that the community knows this boy, this can be spun into positive by simply encouraging him with positive comments and question. It doesn’t have to be about oh there’s that rude child. Why not ask him if he’s doing good again and paying attention in school at least he’ll see people care and wish to see him do well. Wouldn’t work anywhere else in the world but Bermuda is another world.

By: lucky 7

lucky 7 — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 17:28:10 +0000

Agree, and to the dad, your son might not understand right now, but one day he will KNOW that you did that because you love him, and he will respect you for it….I can even picture you two laughing about it together over a beer or a coffee in years to come, because you created that close bond with him by caring enough!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 17:11:34 +0000

I’m so sad reading this. Poor child, there are other ways to go about this instead of publicly shaming him…………

By: Ray

Ray — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:56:52 +0000

Again Cathy, you say there are other alternatives.What is the other Alternative? What is the appropriate punishment for this child?

By: Ray

Ray — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:42:07 +0000

How could this Father do this, Public humiliation how dare he. What kind of animal is he? Trying to correct his sons behavior before he ends up going down the wrong path and eventually being in the paper for a court appearance for some sort of charge steming from anti social behaviour that wasn’t corrected. Because being in the paper for being arrested for a crime isn’t humiliating it’s Cool.

By: Duane P Santucci

Duane P Santucci — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:33:18 +0000

@Cathy , many differ with your view and I would venture to say that these same people mostly made up of minds that believe in this crap they call time out, I would also go onto say that they are those that think like our Mrs Cooper who became popular because of her belief system of how she believe a child should be raised… Cathy I agree with your thoughts and your view but don’t think most took the contents as the way you were trying to put it over, and just in case I am not on the same path I will tell you why I agree with you, this child rightfully deserved to be taught a real lesson in how to behave rightly, but to put this child through the humiliation of embarrassment,opens the door for a bigger problem.

Bullying is something we don’t highlight enough in this country within the walls of our schools, and this child being put on display not just down there next to Mr. Johnny Barnes, but now through the print media, opens this child up for bullying at a level that can become out of control and outright devastating, we don’t know what is being put in the minds of others to do or say and neither do we know what this now puts in the mind of this child, either way there are far more greater ways to have dealt with this then to be so ready to put this child on public display. i am old school and my child and I would have had a dance but that is me, it would be verbal and if needed it would have been the punishment meted out to me as a child that never killed me or lead me astray.

People of today who seem so educated and politically correct, can sometimes come up with the most idiotic methods of resolving a issue, and you wonder why education some times seems to be a joke, in the sense that all the education in the world without common sense is just as stupid as no education at all.

By: Tough Love

Tough Love — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:25:42 +0000

The kid was so rude that he was sent home from school, losing learning time etc. What punishment should the parent have taken? A talking to? You think the school didn’t try that already?

Kudos to the dad! I’m sure the child got the message.

It’s a scary world when we don’t want to hurt the feelings of a rude child. What do you think that child would turn into if people kept avoiding hurting his feelings but he kept being rude?

By: Self

Self — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:23:31 +0000

I agree! What all the people that are supporting this fail to realize is that people won’t soon forget this. His picture was taken, his friends/school mates saw him, strangers saw him and laughed. If this tactic worked, and he saw the error of his ways, he is going to be teased and reminded about it long after he cleans up his act. Is that fair?

By: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:11:48 +0000

Thats the US’s stats, this is Bermuda. Another world like you said remember?

By: realtalkmom

realtalkmom — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:05:38 +0000

Well done dad!! I have a child that was in so much trouble at school and all the talking we as parents did with this kid was going in one ear and out the other. Gave that *** licks and the kid hasn’t been in trouble since!! You don’t have to beat the child just show them that their behavior isn’t accepted. Old school training works!!

By: Skiman

Skiman — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:54:33 +0000

I remember one time when I was a teenager attending High School, one day I did something to get in trouble at school. My father punished me by making walk to school for a week, I lived to Paget and the school was in Pembroke, so you could imagine that walk twice a day. It worked since then I have never been in trouble again, became a straight A student, never been arrested and am successful member of society today. now that I have kids I am using this same approach to raising my kids and its working, so old school is what’s needed today. You do wrong you get punished not praised.

By: micro

micro — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:51:10 +0000

It takes a village. We’re all a product of our environment.

By: Concerned

Concerned — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:42:19 +0000

I think we need a program like this in our schools: http://www.rootsofempathy.org/en.html

By: Concerned

Concerned — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:41:44 +0000

When a parent publicly humiliates their child, it’s bullying. Publicly shaming children is not how to raise kind, empathetic, secure children. Humiliation teaches a child that you don’t value him. It wears down a child’s self-image and self-respect. Ultimately, the lesson the child learns is to use power to make others comply. If you want children to respect you, you have to respect them. You do not have to respect the behaviors of the child; you need to respect the dignity of the human being.

This thread could be considered cyberbullying. Should everyone who commented in support of this type of discipline now wear a sign on Crow Lane saying “I participated in the group cyberbullying of a child”? Would this solve the problem or perpetuate it?

By: Ray

Ray — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:36:05 +0000

So Cathy what exactly would you suggest for the father to do? Do you know this child and the appropriate step to correct his behavior? Everyone is different and what, might work for one certain individual doesn’t always work for another. So what is the appropriate step,

By: Young Adult speaking up

Young Adult speaking up — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:35:31 +0000

i am a 25 year old male and i see nothing wrong with that despite what anyone has to say i wish all parents where like that because you have some young men that are rude and disrespectful to parents and the community. The thing is you cant hit your children becauee it considered abuse so what that parent did i wish my parents would have did to me it teaches them self disapline and makes them think about there actions.Despite the child being in eyes view of the public i say hats off to the parent. Because you have alot of parents out there who know what there kids are doing weather it be school related crime relate etc and they turn a blind eye like nothing is wrong that is why are young men are growning up doing as they please.i was once a teenager not to long ago i know how things are this is coming from a young man who has seen it all and done it all when it comes to rude behaviour. My life would be so much better if my parents where more like the father in this article.

By: Sigh

Sigh — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:29:46 +0000

I applaud this method of new-age parenting, we don’t know what happened behind closed doors with this child and his parents so don’t be so quick to “suggest” how this should have been handled. It’s none of our business. But I do understand that some of these kids care more about what their friends think than what the rest of us think. A lil embarrassment can go a long way.

By: LOL (Original TM*)

LOL (Original TM*) — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:29:45 +0000

Interesting so you dont really thing the inequality of the past had much to do with that but you say the fathers should have move of a role in the kids life……interesting ….

LOL

By: Regina

Regina — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:11:10 +0000

No, I think the father took the easy way out. He is not the one teaching the child that his behavior was inappropriate – he’s having all of us who drive by do it for him. No Father of The Year Award for this guy. #AvoidanceParenting

By: Regina

Regina — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:08:35 +0000

Let me get this straight: we don’t shame child sexual predators (via a registry) for the awful things they do – but it’s ok to shame a child for being rude? I wouldn’t even shame my dog like this. There are better ways of teaching children.

By: Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 14:02:08 +0000

The problem is when all these so called Child experts got a foot hold on how it is so bad to spank a Child – and managed convinced Govt Officials, Education Officials, Police and a large number of Perents that it was wrong
it simply made disipline very difficult for perents – infect it has only produced negative results – because of this most
of the most awful senseless Violent crimes are coming from our Children – a clear result of Parents not being able to give Childen today a Spanking. — so today its Shame Signs — saw it comming !
its going to be the next big thing!

By: Self

Self — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 13:56:48 +0000

Sorry, but I don’t agree with this at all. When I was at work, one of my coworkers had a picture of the boy on his phone and was showing it around. Everybody was having a good laugh at this child’s expense. I said good LAUGH…and these are grown a$$ adults.
How many of us are rude to people on a DAILY basis? I don’t see any of us standing at the roundabout with a sign on us! Surely there was a better way to handle this without people taking this MINOR’S picture and circulating his image for the world to see. He has learned his lesson, has he? Something tells me this is going to backfire big time.

By: Me

Me — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 13:41:09 +0000

I think this punishment is absolutely appropriate and indicative of a parent that really cares about the long-term wellbeing of his children. The father could have given his son a lecture. He could have given him a smack. Either way would have been easier for him, but instead he spent considerable time and effort contriving a punishment that is both non-physical and, i suspect, highly effective. Good man!

By: hollis breed

hollis breed — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 13:30:00 +0000

Back in my school days u acted up in school u gt d belt frm the principle n u payed attention or made sure u wasnt goin back in the office. The moral 2 this story dicipline ya child dont embarass them.

By: solo

solo — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 13:23:59 +0000

Well done to the father… anyone who is against what this father did is delusional. The father cannot cut the boys tail due to bs child abuse interpretations, and the coalition for children are the main reason the kids are the way they are today… coalition should be ashamed that their actions have gotten Bermuda to this stage

By: Ruthless

Ruthless — Wed, 03 Dec 2014 13:20:16 +0000

Try raising ya own children in this day and age. Well done to the father. I got bad behavior beaten right out of me! Would have taken the sign any day. Those beatings were right in front of my class.