Martha Dismont: ‘Why We Must Work Together’

“My hope is that we do not become ‘numb’ to the circumstances surrounding this recent shooting and that we vow to stay in this fight to build relationship to solve our community problems,” Martha Dismont, Executive Director of the Family Centre, said.

Mrs Dismont said, “As we mourn the passing of Jahni Outerbridge, special condolences are being sent to his family. Many of us knew Jahni as a young boy; he was gentle and kind and loving. The fact is that most of us will often know each of these young people, and it remains a tragedy that as a community, we have yet to put in place what is necessary to fully address our social problems.”

She continued, “These situations never require one solution; it is often a multi-faceted problem. The fact that we have not yet found a way to come together as a whole community to resolve these challenges may be an indication that the actual problem could be that it truly does takes a village, and we only seem to come together as a ‘village’ under forced circumstances, when it is evident that we will all be adversely affected unless we work together, such as when we face an approaching hurricane. Working together requires relationship and trust to solve problems and without it, we will remain with the same situation.”

“There are many reasons why we must work together as parents, relatives, schools, government, clubs, and social service organizations. We find ourselves with an unfortunate percentage of our population who has left school without a degree.

“We find ourselves with a subsequent percentage of our population who are estranged from their family, whether for perceived safety reasons by the family, or the fact that a young person without skills and a way to contribute to the family is causing undue burdens on the family.

“The ultimate problem is that the family is estranged. And, a young person without family will seek ‘family’ somewhere as an intrinsic need for a sense of belonging. These circumstances lead to homelessness, crime, gang involvement, violence and significant social-emotional problems.

“With very little tolerance for the challenges that individuals and families often find themselves facing, the community is exacerbating these problems in schools, clubs, homes, and even in social service organizations, when, for instance, individuals refuse to be nurturing and supportive to young people who are ‘in trouble’. We are all affected by their challenges, and we all play a role in the success or failure of the individual.”

“The reasons for relationship breakdowns, whether in families, or in any of the environments described, are never really worth the pain and suffering that we ultimately experience as a result of the breakdown.

“As we try to heal situations like these, we always find ourselves trying to work our way back to ‘building relationship.’ The goal is to seek to re-build relationship the moment we see the breakdown.

“The moment that a school teacher discovers that “Johnny” is no longer listening, caring, respecting, the answer is to find a way to re-build relationship with “Johnny” to get to the problem that is causing him to be disrespectful, uncaring, and not interested in learning; or certainly to get assistance to find out what is affecting ‘Johnny’.”

“The moment our community becomes disrespectful, uncaring and overtaken by anger, we must seek to re-build relationship by being willing to “understanding first”.

“We cannot forget that whether it is a young person who is bullied, assaulted, abused, or murdered, all of these negative behaviors can be prevented, if we take the time as a community to put in place programmes and resources to address unaddressed trauma in children and adults; as we provide opportunities for skill-building and academic advancement, and ultimately job placement for “lost” young people; as we provide supportive responsive programmes for parents in trouble, so they can model hopefulness to their children; as we hold community organizations to a high standard of operation to ensure our community environments are safe and respectful places of business; as we place priority on building an educated population, with the necessary resources given to schools; as we continue to develop strong leaders with qualities of good character.

“We will find ourselves planting seeds that result in healthy, respectful adults full of hope and promise. But, all of these solutions require a community working together to achieve.”

Mrs. Dismont concluded by saying, “Prioritizing these efforts, together, will be the difference between celebrating the wonderful successes of our young people and their parents versus mourning another tragic shooting.

“My hope is that we do not become ‘numb’ to the circumstances surrounding this recent shooting and that we vow to stay in this fight to build relationship to solve our community problems. In the meantime, I, once again, encourage parents to pay attention to the activities and ‘goings on’ in the lives of children. Seek help if you are worried.

“I encourage older youth to stay in the fight for meaning and purpose in your life. Your life depends on it. And, I encourage our community to strive to restore the relationships within family that once upon a time were built upon trust and caring, respect, honesty and openness. We owe at least this much to our future citizens and adults.”

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