Video: “Poverty in Paradise: The Price We Pay”
A new documentary provides compelling first-hand accounts of the growing impact poverty is having on Bermuda — including an interview with a single mother who slept in caves while she was pregnant because she could not afford rent.
Bermudian.documentary filmmaker Lucinda Spurling’s “Poverty in Paradise: The Price We Pay” will have its premiere at the fourth Bermuda Documentary Film Festival [Bermuda Docs], being held from April 29 – May 1.
It will screen on Saturday April 30 at 8.30 p.m. in the Tradewinds Auditorium of the Bermuda Underwater Exploration Institute [BUEI], and the trailer can be viewed below:
The film explores the causes and consequences of the widening gap between Bermuda’s wealthy and poor, the struggles that families face in providing for themselves and their children, and the consequential spiral in crime plaguing the community.
“In 2000, 50 percent of black female-headed households with children were living at or below the poverty line – and increasingly, families are finding it impossible to afford the basic necessities such as rent, food and electricity,” says Sheelagh Cooper, chairperson for the Coalition.
“We have made this film, showing a side of Bermuda that is often hidden away, because we want to transform the assumptions held by many about why particular people live in poverty. The film is very powerful – we hope it will affect the social and political will in Bermuda, transforming the way Bermudians understand their community and influencing the necessary policies to put Bermuda on a more positive and prosperous path for all.”
Ms Spurling, whose previous documentary feature films include St. David’s: An Island Near Bermuda, Rare Bird and The Lion and the Mouse, said the process of making the film had a dramatic impact on her. “The screening of the film will be a great platform to bring the important message of our film to a local audience,” she says.
“More than any other project that I have worked on, it has been a huge learning experience and has opened my eyes to the complexity of our social problems. I encourage everyone who is concerned about the future of Bermuda to see the film at Bermuda Docs.”
The film traces the origins of the island’s increasing poverty rate back to early 1990s. At the time the off-shore financial services sector was replacing tourism as Bermuda’s primary industry– and primary employer. Subsequently an influx of low-cost migrant workers from the Developing World arrived in Bermuda to provide unskilled labour.
The film features interviews with 16 Bermudian women who say they are being required to choose between multiple part-time jobs in order to make ends meet or staying at home to raise their children.
Ms Spurling’s film will be preceded by Higher Ground: the Cahow Translocation Project, a 32-minute documentary film produced by the LookBermuda team of J.P. Rouja, Ben Watson and Milton Raposo. The film, part of the organisation’s educational outreach programme, profiles the project — designed by conservation officer Jeremy Madeiros — to protect the future of Bermuda’s national bird.
“I am delighted to screen two films by Bermudian filmmakers,” says Bermuda Docs founder and director, Duncan Hall. “Lucinda’s film is bound to provoke healthy discussion around the issue of poverty, and I am pleased to also support the educational outreach project set up by J.P. and his team. “There must not be many places worldwide of Bermuda’s size where there are as many talented filmmakers as we are fortunate to have here.”
Tickets for the April 29-30-1 May festival, $15, go on sale today[ Apr.15] at www.bdatix.bm, at All Wrapped Up Home in Washington Mall, at the Money Shop, Dundonald Street, and at Fabulous Fashions, Heron Bay Plaza, Southampton. Tickets may also be ordered by phoning 232-2255. Bermuda Docs is presented by Mini, and sponsored by Stella Artois, North Rock Communications Ltd., BELCO, and the Bermuda Arts Council.
Update 11:30pm: The Saturday April 30th screening is sold out according to Bdatix, with tickets still remaining for the screening on Sunday.
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This is exactly why it needs to be inforced in womens minds that it is IRRISPONSIBLE to procreate if you cannot afford to do it!!!!!!!!! Use protection!! Especially if you are not married!! It also enforces why it is important to get an education so you can afford a decent job!! I am tired of hearing woman complain about how hard they have it when quite frankly no one made you get pregnant!! it is selfish to conceive if you cannot even afford a roof over your own head!! selfish!! I am sorry but if you make your bed you gotta lie in it! You cannot be undereducated, underpaid, and have a kid and expect hand outs for your silly mistakes. These women need to serve as examples to young teens as to why they should refrain from having kids until their circumstances are good. The documentary should be aimed at providing just that!! Children NEED positive male AND females in their lives and they need stable homes where the mom isnt out working 3 jobs all the time cause she is undereducated and cant afford 1 good job and leaving these boys alone to band together and get into trouble…..the point is that it is single underecuated low income women who get pregnant and struggle who are the ones we have to blame for a large part of our social ills…..
because it’s all about the woman and the man has no part in reproduction and therefore has no responsibility for the consequences.
attitudes like yours make me sick.
no, but there are concequences and the woman is the one that bears the burden (in more than one way), am I right? So, better choices must be made BEFORE one DECIDES to have children. Having children should be a congizant decision, not an ‘oops’.
*consequences
The woman shouldn’t be the sole one that bears the burden, and attitudes LIKE YOURS contribute to the culture we have the enables men to take off and deny their responsibility.
Proper sex ed should be taught in all schools, but your world-view is simplistic.
WOmen….SMH….In the end, who ends up holding the bag? Women do. Therefore, it is imperative that they choose wisely who they spread their legs to. I know many girls (not women) who sleep with guys who they are not even dating and get pregnant and then expect the guy to support them. Get real. I don’t feel sorry for the girl, I feel sorry for the child.
This is not what was said at all: if your riding in a car and the driver decides to not wear their seatbelt…does this mean you don’t either? Waiting for a man to condom-up is selling your own power of reproduction and responsibility towards your own sexual health short.
It’s not just about pregnancy either. Google STD infections and see what you can get from having unprotected sex.
That’s something that should make everyone sick.
I agree! If you don’t want children/can’t afford them…go on the pill!! Balls in the woman’s court!!
As a woman I agree and most of these girls are dumb and sleep with guys knowing they are childish and won’t own up to responsibility. I won’t ever put my self in that position-no pun intended. Men bear some of the responsibility but it will be me who is left with having to raise keep or not keep and raise a child. That’s just how it is but I do think the laws need to be tougher on these guys. Some women don’t even fight for them to own up and care for their own child.
I am a single mom.
I am well educated(work hard at my one job)
and I still live paycheck to paycheck.
Barely keeping a roof over our heads.
I “procreated” while I was married.
That marriage ended,
but I still have to feed, clothe, and shelter
my daughters. I take great offense
to your comments above.
It is easy to blame the single mom..
That is a lazy way out. How many single
Mom’s are in your family ? What do you do
to help raise the children ? What do you do
to help with your community?
Where do you spend your extra time?
Do you volunteer at a school as a mentor?
Do you volunteer as a sports coach?
Look in the mirror and ask
“what have I done to help the situation”?
Before you start throwing stones
Thank you “nurse confused” for setting this loser “Ummmm” straight! Pure ignorance coming out of his/her mouth. There are many circumstances why women end up single mothers/homeless. You obviously aren’t educated enough to figure this out.
Nuff said!!!!
Great article Bernews.
Ummmm is totally correct in his/her statement. Nurse confused, you are exactly that and that is why you are in the situation you are in now. Where is your children’s father? Is he helping you out? If you were married and he is the father of your daughters then you should have placed yourself in a better financial situation at your divorce. We can all easily blame the man in the situation but in reality who end up left holding the bag?
So you may say you’re educated but are you smart? Is their more to the story? Enlighten us.
Again, blame the woman. Why do you imply that it’s HER fault if the man refuses to step up to the plate?
*sigh – then make a better choice of a man…..
If he isn’t prepared to make you a permanent part of his life, because the law does not protect those who choose not to do so, then run away, far away!
No it is NOT her fault that the man chooses not to step up to the plate…..but it is in her best interest to choose the man who’s sperm swims up her in her body wisely because it’s her and the child’s life that will suffer first. NOT his.
Thank you Nurse confused!!!finally someone speaking with some sense I was getting so pissed reading this first set of comments!!!
smh…. Bermy got a long way to go with people like UMMM, Thinking the way they do!!!
Very sad. Maybe it is time to vote in a Government which understands the plight of people such as this and can assist them, rather than a Government that only looks after itself and friends and family.
This government has done more than ANY other administration to assist people who find themselves in hard times. but regardless of what a government does or does not do, personal responsibility also needs to be employed by individuals.
@ “Are you serious?” and “Nurse confused”- I don’t think that “Ummmm” was referring you. I happen to agree – and you must appreciate that there are a number of women who decide to have children to ‘keep’ their ‘man’. He/she does refer to the single undereducated low-income women” in their text. These same women are in the news asking US to help them with their rent, etc.
I happen to be an eduated married woman; we have chosen to have ONE child. Taxes from our hard-earned money go to assist some single mothers. Yes, I get upset at this; no-one helps me with bills!
However, we need to educate teens/young women that it costs more, monetarily and emotionally to have children, if they are single and undereducated. A baby will not bring them love, it will not make the man want them, but instead they have a person to feed, house and educate plus deal with the abandoment of their father (if that is the case). And since cycles repeat themselves, whether we realise this or not, some of us need therapy to enlighten us on the choices we make and to change our thinking.
The other key is education. If you do not have a ‘piece of paper’ you will not be able to afford luxuries that you covet, much less take care of your children properly. We need to encourage our school-age chldren in doing just this. You need at least a BA from a reputable, accredited institution to get ‘in the front door’, as they say. The Bermuda College has afforded those who otherwise may not be able to travel abroad after highschool such an opportunity.
I must add as well, that if one decided to have a child that, in my opinion, it is their responsibility! When they made such a decision surely they thought of the pros and cons of single-parenthood! Why should I be expected to assist a family member who has chosen to have a child that they cannot afford? I am not a coach nor a mentor. I spend my spare time do things I wish to enrich my life so that I will be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter to my family members.
Short term advice – buys some condoms!
The amount of misogyny in this post is already astounding. Men have a role in procreation and yet we blame the mothers for the progeny.
I’m not blaming anyone. Clearly you are misunderstanding my point – be prepared BEFORE the posibility, make INFORMED choices. Again see my post above and look at what One Island Boi has to say as well. It seems that your emotional state is preventing you from understanding well what we have stated…..
Of course, men have a role in procreation, however if the pregancy is unwanted and an abortion (Plan B or via surgery) is in question the power of choice is entirely with the women. If a man wants to abort a baby and the woman doesn’t, the baby will come to be. Should the responsibility fall evenly between the man and the woman in this situation? Should the woman in this case be “blamed for the progeny”? If a woman is pregant and wants to abort, what rights does the father have realistically? It is all good and well to call the above comments misogynistic, and whilst both parties are equally responsible for practicing safe sex, if mistakes are made and conception occurs men are left with zero real power of decision about whether to carry the pregancy through to birth.
People spend more time considering the type and colour of a car more than they do the person they sleep with.
Is it fair to say that a lack of education is contributing to the homelessness that many families are experiencing today? Educational opportunities were not as readily available to our forefathers and they too had many children out of wedlock, yet were still able to sustain their families. Some families had many more mouths to feed with ten plus children, yet still managed with what little resources they had. There was often one breadwinner per family and they were quite comfortable in the small cottage they owned. Although uneducated, many were self-sufficient. What has changed today?
With a change in Government, came the mindset that the haves will have more and the have nots will have less. How have they achieved this? After the Government clique took care of themselves and their families, the executives became a priority. Certain local and international realtors combined and also catered to the executives, driving the cost of housing through the roof. A few local landlords may have benefited, but those who are paying rents are becoming overwhelmed with the rental increases to the point of being pushed, not aside but outside. Private school fees continue to rise at rates of 4.5 – 8% and the IB clientele continue to come and go with less locals finding the tuition affordable. It doesn’t take an education to figure out where this all began or to notice the negative impact it is having on the lower class people.
Yessss!!!!! Someone else with a lick of sense!!!!
Exactly.
Although I understand that men should have a responsibility in all of this, I do agree with many of the sentiments that women need to be more cautious when choosing their partners, because in the end, if all goes wrong they are ‘stuck’ with raising the child.
@ Nurse confused unfortunately you may be one of the few who had a child when married (many children are born out of wedlock.
Another point is this many YOUNG girls get pregnant for worthless men/boys. Men/boys who never held a job in their life, sell drugs or indulge in negative behaviour… if he cannot take care of himself what makes you think he will take care of a child?!
In some cases men seem to have it all together but yet run from such responsibilities which does occur I will admit that. But in the end women have to be extremely selective of the men they procreate with.
In an ideal world men will share responsibility of raising a child even if the relationship goes sour….. BUT WE DONT LIVE IN AN IDEAL WORLD.
After talking with my wife, she made some points that made me think about the situations of some single mothers.
Not everyone in society was raised in a particular way and values may be different. Not everyone was raised in a two parent household home, therefore a single family home appears to be the norm to them.
In the end we do not know the circumstances in which some women have been through, the increased cost of living does not help the situation either.
It is easier for people like me probably to think ‘oh they should do this and that’ when we don’t know the full history of how some people were put in certain situations.
I was fortunate to have a mother who worked hard and sacrificed a lot to give me an education and instill certain values in me. Not everyone is fortunate like that and some have been dealt a terrible hand.. i.e. abuse, abandonment etc..
While I still believe SOME of our young women need to make better choices with men they procreate with, one doesn’t not know the underlying issues causes them to make certain decisions.
Perhaps some never felt love as a child and the fact that a child loves their mother gives them a sense of purpose, positivity… they could have been raped (not reported it).. etc.. in the end we just dont know.
I commend the women who were brave enough to show their face and show the public their struggle.
I realize as a society we can be judgemental, but we always must be openminded when trying to see different aspects of some situations.
Remember the days of between 11 and 19 children everybody was poor then but everyone was taken care of .Everyone ate from the same pot and handed down cloths out of necessity.
What has really changed is the dynamics of the family .For instance , very large families lived in close quaters and tended to have the same mother and father , now , children living together may all have different fathers . Grandmother travelling the world and will probably never visit the grandchilds nursery .
Poverty in Bermuda is born of selfishness and greed , individualy and collectively.
As I sit here and read these comments it just sickens me to no end!!! It seems though you all are sitting on top of a very HIGH Horse and I Pray to the Father above that you never fall off…@Ummm, One Island Boi,and Summer Love, you all are sitting here talking about make better choices, get an education, don’t have kids all a whole heap of other garbage!!! Just Judging people left right and center even went as far as to even try to dis a single mother that got in this position through a divorce!! you all are really SICK in Your Collective Heads!!!! The whole point is
Is That the cost of living in Bermuda is way to high period!!!!! All this BS about get a better job you guys are Wacked!!!! Because if a person is working a full time job and making an honest living then that should be enough!!! So because a person is a Maid and not an accountant that makes him or her uneducated????
You all should be ashamed of yourselves for the S#$T That you are saying!!
I’ll say it again for a single parent or for parents period the cost of living is too Damn High!!! and that is the Point!!!
When Rent for an apartment can run you 2300 and up its too High
when bread cereal and milk can run over 20 bucks again cost of living is to damn high!! So all of you need to step back take a good look and step all of this high handed Judge mental BULLS#!T!!!!
He who feels it Knows it!!!
The education I think we are talking about is a basic GED…high school diploma. Just to let you know…i am on no high horse as I was once the child of a young single parent. I had lived in over 15 different places up until I was 20yrs old, i have ridden the bus from school to NO home, I have slept on floors, had no luch, dinner and breakfast….so I don’t advocate for the mother, i advocate for the child when i speak. My mother accepted her faults and raised me and my siblings to NOT follow in her footsteps. We have made the BETTER choices by not having kids until we were ready and staying in school (3 of 4 of us have college degrees). So should I feel sorry for the mother and her struggle? Yes i do but I still say to make better decisions.
Also…..the cost of living in Bermuda has always been high so she clearly did not take something so obvious into consideration before she had her child.
The cost of living is much higher than it used to be. Be forreal.
yes it is much higher than it used to be so why put yourself in a position where you know you cannot afford to raise 1,2 or 3 children? SOme of you all are too dumb to see the big picture….thank God I have my UK passport. SOmething is really wrong with the Bermudian mentality….I love my country but damn. Why repeat over and over a cycle that has proven to not work?
What? Can you not read? A majority of this country is struggling. A house costs $1 million at minimum here. Nowhere in the U.S. does it cost that much, even people with college degrees and NO kids can’t afford that. What Bermuda are you living in? What cycle? Did you not read the comment from that person who said back in the day people could survive and afford things here? When some women actually stayed home and the husbands worked and they weren’t poor. Americans WITHOUT college degrees can buy a house.
It seem like you are the one with a Bermudian mentality judging everyone and assuming everyone who is struggling has 2 and 3 kids. Now how are doing in Bermuda? You own a house? You have kids? Exactly then shut up. Move to the damn U.K no one gives a damn. Who cares. Any Bermudian can get a U.K. passport and live out there. Get off your high horse with your judgmental attitude.
I believe that in general women do need to make better choices in partners because truth be told they hold all the power… not that I am absoliving the fathers of any responsibility. Like someone said above… in a perfect world all men would do their jobs but THIS IS NOT A PERFECT WORLD! Feel free to attack me now ladies…
Ummmmm,…. come back down to Earth, and bring that little Island Boi with you. When you too become adults, and learn real world perspective, you realize how unqualified the statements you made on here are.Firstly it is the absolute silliest thing I’ve ever witnessed to see a man promote the point of view that a man runs scot free if he’s irresponsible.Your behaviour changes your environment ( which you jokers don’t even realize is an hour 15 mins long, and surrounded by water.) This means that the “us and “them” pie in the sky dream that you have been sold is nonexistant.Ummmmm,and Summer Lover, get some rare sense ( it used to be common in my day, but I see it didn’t make it to yours), a 24 square mile island that produces nothing on it’s own can never be sustained as some commercial center where everyone has a BA, lives in a million dollar house, and drives a $60,000.00 car. We tried that already and failed miserably at it ( which is why Newstead is in repossesion and the bank actually did themselves a diservice by doing so as there is noone to buy the overpriced hunk even at reposessed rates!) Before you go running off at the “educated” lip it would do you some good to take some of those overrated formulas you spent your money on and apply them to real life and your surroundings. The reason why there is poverty does not lie with the fact that people have kids.And for your information there are people that are still mariried with their children, and even are entrepeneurs with different degrees, yet face some of the very same struggles these women face. The public never gets handouts from government college boys, it is the government who gets hand outs from it’s citizens.Were you absent from class when your professors taught about how the government is funded?? It would do you much better to realize that whether you are a trillionaire or a pauper, paying too much for something that is not worth the price is not productive and detrimental. A trillion dollars gets spent just like a single dollar ( one dollar at a time) so high paying jobs are not the answer when the economy is too damn high period. There is no possible way to put together fiscal statistic on how much will be required to raise any one child, as each case is extremely variable (a variable is the opposite of a constant and therefore will always produce a “false” result, in case you went sleep in that class too). Social studies and family basics apparently were not strong subjects in your studies either, for you are still not yet aware that a worthless man or woman for that matter does not come up and announce that they are worthless, also very few people including yourselves (upon gaining more “life experience”) remain one particular way, but rather metamorphasize due to experiences and influences. To break it down for you,: a person can start out one way and end up the complete opposite( judging from the instability of your commentary you guys are likely such types). You can’t blame the women for their partners’ actions or lack thereof, nor can you blame our economic woes on the amount of children people have. The economy no matter how complex you think it is, is merely a botle. You get out what you put in.Ifyou move all the money to one side then the econmy stagnates. in order to get it moving again you have to redistribute the money!Those woes are due to the actions of the affluent and the government who supports them with policies or sometimes lack thereof. Put your money where your mouth is,.. if you honestly feel that some people shouldn’t have children, then give up your spoilt uppity life seeing as you have made it already, to either let some other child have a chance or at least stop being the drain you are on this economy that you love so much.
Well put!! I applaud your comments.
BLaPP!! Just like dat!!! Nuff Said!!!!!
I do not disagree that the economy in Bermuda is an issue. We are entitled to live a good life providing we take the steps to get there. Carlton, your focus is on the government and the system…..my focus is on the individual who has to make a decision based on the hand he or she is dealt. Furthermore, I have lived exactly what these people are going through…EXACTLY that. So i can speak first hand what it was like to grow up in this situation. I have learned from my parents mistakes and dare not repeat them. I know where I live is expensive and I, instead of just venting on here or other columns, take the steps to make sure i can provide for myself and take care of others when need be. I think our debate is which is the greater problem, having children before we are in a financial position to raise them or the cost of living which does not allow the average person to survive on a basic education and raise children. I so far see everyone raising valid points from all angles but you seem to be stuck on only yours and then shoot down anyone else who’s opinion differs from yours.
Why are you so hung up on the fact of people having kids? You really think the only people struggling are the ones who have kids? The greater problem is the cost of living which does not allow the average person to survive. You can go to school, graduate, go to Bermuda College, graduate, get a job and still not have anything. Which is the case with many people. Some college graduates can’t even get jobs. The cost of living here is ridicoulsy high.
Keep thinking that way and when you’re 40, no kids and still can”t afford to have a piece of the rock or anything to your name we’ll see what your opinion is then.
Wait, Wait, Wait one moment. Some of you have gone way off topic here and are not addressing the issue that is presented which is POVERTY!! This is one of those sayings where if you haven’t walked in these peoples shoes then you don’t know what they’re going through is true.
Everyone here could be one moment away from stepping into poverty. Tomorrow a single parent who thought everything was going good could lose her job, now the household has no income. No income to pay rent, so now they get evicted. No money for food, now their kids go hungry. No money to pay bills, now the banks are after what little things they have left. Poverty is not always about a bad decision someone has made but a bad hand that was dealt to them. Educated people have slipped into poverty just look all around the US there are countless examples of this.
Anyone could hit a speed bump in life and as a result they slip in poverty.
Poverty is a curse. Poverty is the reason why some people cannot get a quality education. Kids living in poverty go to school on an empty stomach , no breakfast no lunch and is expected to perform on an empty stomach . You can’t study hungry, you can’t think hungry. They can’t afford new school shoes that have holes in them, can’t afford textbooks or notepads and they walk through school while hearing people talk about them and staring at them. Some kids are not dropping out of school because they are IGNORANT some drop out because they’re hungry and they can’t think or function. They are dropping out because they’re hungry. They can’t sleep at night because they here mommy and daddy is up arguing into the am about paying bills so they can’t sleep then they have to get up and go to school. Poverty is sometimes the reason why kids are not getting EDUCATED. If they were not in poverty then maybe they could be given the same opportunities as others to get a quality education.
Poverty is not a result of who women have chosen their partners to be, or how many different baby daddy’s they have or as a result being lazy or educated. Uneducated people that have money are not in poverty. Poverty is a result of being POOR, having no money to pay for things. So as a result of poverty people are living in cars, tents , park benches or run down shacks. Come on people!! Really!
Families have to work two or three jobs just to survive on this expensive island and the lost of one job could spell poverty. A mother has two kids one is in college, she is paying for her child’s college fees through the salary she receives from her job. Let’s say she has a loan for something. All of a sudden the mother loses her only job. Now she has no money to pay off that loan, or pay for her child’s education, doesn’t have much money in the bank. How much longer without a job in Bermuda do you thing a person in this scenario can survive before slipping into poverty.
I don’t know what circumstances have landed people into poverty but what I do know is whatever those reasons are we need to fix them. We need to address them. We need to get rid of them and not turn away from them.
Instead of guessing and talking about people in poverty imagine what you would learn if you took the time out to actually talk to some of the people that find themselves in this predicament instead of walking past them.
Ignorance is worst than being uneducated. Because we are educated that doesn’t mean we are wise.
We cannot accept poverty. REALLY!!
I Like your comment truth you are speaking!!!
First, let me declare my interest, I was interviewed for this film for statistical comment. That said, somehow I’m not surprised by the sexist and sub conscious racist comments aimed at these women. These views are popularised by such conservative authors as Amy Wax who point out that if women got a GED, didn’t have children until marriage, they’ll be fine. This totally ignores the fact that in this capitalist society, no matter what the poor do to get out of poverty, it is not designed that that they get out. True, some who follow this construct minimise their poverty level but rarely escape it. Just look at that stats that show that Whites in management that have no formal education can earn almost as much as a Black person with a college degree. It’s all about power play. To understand this concept in very real terms Google the book: Getto Physics) which will become a movie later this year. Now let the toxicity begin!
+Now let the toxicity begin!+
Who’s looking for ‘toxicity’ ? You ?
And is there really a ‘sub conscious racist twist’ going on here ?
You know Cordell , just about every time you have something to say nowadays you blow it by twisting it into this ….. smdh
Don’t you know that common sense is racist these days…
Would it be smart on my salary to go and take out a mortgage on a $100k car or a $1mn house. No it wouldn’t because I couldn’t afford either and my living standard would be substantially reduced. Eventually the Banks would repo the car and foreclose on the house leaving me with massive legal bills driving me even further into poverty.
So if Mr. Riley do you believe that it is a smart life choice for women to have children while they are young and cannot provide for themselves much less another human being? Are you an advocate then for young women with no means to go around and reproduce without any worries about the repercussions of their actions? Do you believe in any sort of personal responsibility in one’s life decisions? Or is that a white racist theme as well?
How is that racist?
I was a teen mom who was on the pill when i got pregnant (and yes I took them regularly) with no idea how I was gonna raise my kid because my boyfriend of 5yrs MOTHER insisted he was NOT going to pay for a child because he was already helping to pay for HERS. My family was very helpful and I never took advantage of their help. My mom would often offer to babysit so I can spend tie with friends but I opted to stay home and spend time with MY child. The same way I turned down school overseas because I wasn’t able to take MY child with me. The father eventually stepped up and did his fatherly role. I say all of this because just having that moral support can make a difference in these mother’s lives. It’s not always about lack of college education and getting hand outs. Because I had so much family support and my family saw how much I appreciated them, by the age of 21 I had 2 kids and was living in a 2 bedroom house that I was the CO-owner/LANDLADY should it be decided to rent out. Even when I went to TCD and licensed my second hand car from a relative, I got a call days later with a lady in a rude tone,telling me I need to get down to TCD and have my landlord sign my paperwork because I can’t sign and it’s obviously my first car and I didn’t read the paper properly. Well I will say I wasn’t very polite when I responded get the f&^* off my phone and check the property records and she would see I am the landlady (the frustration came from people always making judgements because I was a young mother). Followed by a hang up in her ear. I often heard people say I was spoiled because I had what seems like only educated people should have. My response was I was spoiled with LOVE AND MORAL support because financially my kids have been MY sole responsiblity.
Now I need to get to the next point about who you have a kid with……..hmmm where do I begin. I had a 2nd child by 21. My boyfriend was loving and supportive. Somewhere along the line during my pregnancy with my youngest, he became physically abusive which I hid from everyone to keep my family together as what society says is what a child needs to have a decent upbringing. When my child start hitting back at 2yrs old and telling me if I hit them they’ll tell their daddy to hit me back, I knew I had to leave. Now One island boi and Ummmmm from your comments are you saying that it’s my fault I became single because I took my kids out of an abusive relationship. As far as I’m concern I was very responsible and now I have two well mannered young man raised by ME. One of college age and IN COLLEGE and the other a high school student. Before you judge people understand their background, With my personal experience I’ve always said I’d like to open my home to give young mothers the moral support that helped me be the person I am now, which is employed and now a college graduate (via internet)and continuing my studies. Unfortunately I don’t have the space to give them AT THIS TIME. But to tell a mother she’s at fault for being single without knowing what happened for the relationshop is harsh. For the young mother’s out there don’t give up and appreicate those willing to help and don’t take advantage of them, the clubs and party will still be there trust me I know and to the families, support does not always mean money. The one thing that made me realize being a teen mom didn’t mean the end of the world was when a teen became a mom at 16, later became a senator and later became the FIRST WOMAN to hold the title as Premier of BERMUDA. So now I go back to family giving MORAL support not financial. Bermuda give constructive criticism not negative. At a primary school I remember reading a sign saying if you don’t have anything nice to say dont say anything. The kids are being taught it but adult needs to learn it.
Yes Judge nor Jury!!!! i hope that these extremely judgemental people read and understand what you wrote!!!!
So why did you have a second child at 21 when you knew how hard it was with your first one? Tell us more of your background so I can be certain that it is your fault. But you did what you had to do to overcome all that and you had family support. Not everyone has that……Be responsible in your decision with whom you sleep with because its not you that i’m concerned about, it’s your child that i’m concerned about. I keep hearing me, me , me and nothing about the child who suffers because of the parents.
And our comments are constructive. You just look at it from your narrow mind rather than holistically. Only people like you don’t want to hear the negative cause it will make you realize that you indeed have faults.
Did you hear me say it was hard with the first.Talk about narrow pay attention. I said I took care of my responsiblity. I NEVER said it was hard. I enjoyed every moment of my children. AND people like me have a home and happiness and no need to talk about other people hardships.
Also it was never me me me. I stayed in an abusive relationship so my kids would have a their father. Afterwards I left the relationship for MY KIDS so they would be the good young man they are now and not grow up to continue the abusive cycle. anything else you would like to throw negative at me for trying to be a positive person to other teen mothers who shoes i once wore.
And if you’re that concerned about my kids. Read again my oldest is in COLLEGE ( something wrong with that, I think not). My youngest is doing very well in school. And everyone has faults, my faults are being caring to others to help them find that light to the end of the tunnel and my faults are knowing when my son returns from school he will have his own apartment attached to my house to begin HIS journey of responsibility. My fault was sitting down with my sons early middleschool age and explaining to them that just because we made it ok don’t think having kids young or old is an easy road not every situation is the same and my fault is having a child who listened and told me he doesn’t plan to have kids till he is finished school, married and settled with enough money in case something should happen he’ll have enough to keep his family afloat. Enough said.
As a woman, I know that having a child is MY responsibility because there is no guarantee that a man will step up and shoulder his half of the job if I were to get pregnant.
It’s really quite simple:
If you are a woman and don’t have a good job – DON’T GET PREGNANT.
If you are a woman and fear you could lose the job you have – DON’T GET PREGNANT.
If you are a woman and are not in a stable relationship – DON’T GET PREGNANT.
Ultimately, this child is the mother’s responsibility. I do not have children – I do not believe that I am capable of affording one right now. It really is that simple. I am too proud to ask for handouts or even expect them, so I will not have children right now. It’s just that simple! I really do not feel sorry for these women living in poverty – I wish they had made better decisions like me. And no, I am not on a high horse judging people – I was raised by a single mother and learned that I didn’t want history to repeat itself. Again, I say it’s just that simple! And do not tell me that “no, it’s not that simple” because it REALLY IS JUST THAT SIMPLE! Do not get pregnant until you can afford to do it the right way – your children will thank you as they head off to school with full bellies. Simple!
It is what it is, if we were to take your advice, NO ONE would EVER have children. We hear about people being laid off every week – all of us “fear that we could lose the job we have.” It can happen at any time. You can start out life with all the best intentions and still things can go wrong.
Thank you for trying to break it down for us, but life is, unfortunately, just not that simple. Life is messy and unpredictable for everyone. Your line of thinking that “the child is the mother’s responsibility” is just flawed; BOTH parents are responsible for the child. And for those women who think they are too smart to get caught out as a single mother, well, no one is immune. You don’t want kids? Then practice abstinence. That is really the only 100% effective method of birth control. There is a name for people who place too much faith in modern contraception – they are called “parents”.
A child is the mother and fathers responsibility. Thank God you don’t have kids!
this documentary has caused so much stir…I hope everyone goes to see it.
I think there are people who make made choices and there are genuine poor people. I’ve seen first hand the young single mothers who keep having children even though they don’t have a job. I’ve also seen people who try to keep their family afloat and things just seem to go wrong. Some people blame everyone else for all their downfalls. Some take the bulls by the horn and try to work their way out of it. I agree with both arguments that you should edify your life before having a child and that maybe it’s not all single mother’s fault that they are poor. I don’t know everyone or all situations. The point is that there is poverty on this beautiful island and we should try to do something about it no matter how we got here.