Family Centre Series: “Balanced Discipline”
[Written by Family Centre Counsellor, Christyn Blanchette]
Discipline is a two-sided coin. On the one hand its purpose is to train a child to obey the rules and codes of behavior using punishment as a consequence for disobedience; on the other hand, to discipline a child is to also teach them to own their behavior and to receive the positive consequences for good behavior through rewards and positive recognition [i.e., praise and caring gestures].
So often ‘discipline’ is associated with the punishment of misbehavior that we miss the opportunities to reward our children for making positive choices and displaying appropriate behaviors. There must be a balance; if we want our children to be just as keen at behaving positively and appropriately as they are at avoiding negative behaviors and the subsequent punishments.
We can support our children in owning their positive behavior by helping them to make responsible decisions and then owning the results of that decision.
Teaching accountability, trustworthiness and honesty go hand-in-hand with building discipline into your child. So take the time to find ways to provide balanced discipline that will create the life skills that you want to see in your child as an adult.
“Be the change that starts the change” is such a great slogan
Now, if only we can get others to follow suit…
“Success in life is a matter not so much of talent or opportunity as of concentration and perseverance.” -(C. W. Wendte)
Another great article.
Do you have the resources to get to offices/workplaces to do lunchtime presentations?
Getting a parent mentor when my family was falling apart was probably the best thing that ever happened in my life.
Creating an environment where it’s Ok to say how hard it is to parent and parent effectively, especially in the teen years was critical for me in being able to be open about what a mess my family was in. And realising that I wasn’t alone. Until that happened I was just covering all my tracks – trying to control every and anything – entirely unsuccessfully – but I had the illusion of control until I hit a wall where I almost lost my children and family.
Anyway, this is a wonderful series.
Thanks and don’t get discouraged.