Column: Why Wait For Mother’s Day?
[Written by Kisha Tyrrell]
It is evident that on Mother’s Day, women everywhere are reminded to take the day for selfcare. If the last three years have taught us anything, we have learned that we shouldn’t be waiting for ‘Self-care Sunday’, our birthdays, and definitely not until Mother’s Day to prioritize our needs.
And on top of that, the ‘perfect’ mom ideal, that they show you all over social media and the movies is an absolute myth, one which I am tired of seeing.
Firstly, I should point out that ‘being a mother’ looks different for everyone, whether you gave birth or not. If you are responsible for another life, then, I am talking to you. As someone who is new to the entrepreneurial journey and also a single mom of a twelve-year-old boy, life can get really messy and tough. Adulthood and motherhood is harder than I imagined. It took me years to realize that I couldn’t do it all. And now, at this stage in my life I can admit, I don’t want to do it all and I am okay with that.
Secondly, raising a child, balancing life, building a career and making an effort to carve out ‘me time’ is no easy task. Moms everywhere are figuring out how to incorporate taking care of themselves, all while navigating through the demanding, super busy lives that we have. We all have moments of self-doubt and as rewarding as it is to be a mom, I still have moments during the day that have me questioning myself – like what am I really doing?
So, as we head into our Mother’s Day weekend, let’s make a commitment to ourselves to find simplicity where we can.
1. There is no time to feel guilty for saying no.
Although we are designed to push ourselves to the limit, what we should be reminded of is that it is okay to say no when we are feeling overwhelmed. Our mental, physical and spiritual health requires us to slow down and pause. I have learned that the more things around me are falling apart, the more I need to be intentional about my self-care. And, as a mom, self-care should be simple and effective. My rituals include focusing on my skincare [of course] and my mental and physical health. Each of these areas keep me grounded and prepared to face anything that is going on in my life. So if I have to say no in order to maintain my sanity, the world is a better place for it.
2. It is imperative to form habits that support you looking and feeling your best.
I am not saying that this is easy, but it is possible. Be realistic about your goals and do what you can, when you can. For me, it’s all about my skin care. After all, I am a self-proclaimed skin care enthusiast! Therefore, I look at skin care as a little slice of self-care protected time. Even when the household is falling apart around you, take a few minutes in the morning and night and devote it to taking care of yourself.
3. It really does take a village.
The glamorous mom in the movies who makes it look super easy, also has a village that they are not showing you. Without a doubt, I am a better mom, entrepreneur and overall person because I have this amazing village providing me with love and support. It hasn’t been easy asking for help, as the ideal of perfection just makes things harder. It is not a sign of weakness and you will not break because you need someone to help you get through this motherhood journey. It’s actually okay to be vulnerable, that is when you learn the most about yourself.
4. Balance really is overrated.
Trying to find balance is like a dog chasing its tail. We are in a time where juggling career, motherhood and life is at its highest. The impact that high stress can have on the body is detrimental. Family dinners, children’s activities, grocery shopping and everything else comes with demands. Would we give it up – no! But what we need to do is try to focus more on being present. We can’t split our time equally between everything, so multitasking has become a mom’s superpower. Instead of beating ourselves up with trying to make it all fit and balance, let’s just practice being aware and present. So, what if dinner isn’t cooked. After all is said and done, there is always a bowl of cereal that can be consumed.
Let’s cherish the small moments, let’s tell all the women in our lives that they are doing an amazing job. I am happy to share these tips with you, as I hope that it gives you comfort to know that we are all trying to figure it out. Being a mom is a great job description to have! I see you; I acknowledge you and now go give yourself permission to raise a glass and tell yourself that you are doing a great job!
- Kisha Tyrrell Founder, Enzuri Beauty, is a skincare entrepreneur and self-proclaimed skincare enthusiast who is ‘absolutely obsessed with taking care of her skin’ and ‘loves to encourage people to think differently about how they care for their skin, as skincare is a part of self-care which is the highest form of self-love.’
