Student Stands With Sign: “I’ve Been Rude”
[Updated] Earlier today [Dec 2] a school boy was seen standing at the Crow Lane round-a-bout area with a sign around his neck saying “I’ve been rude in school.” The child was apparently sent home from school prior to this, and was subsequently required to stand at the round-a-bout.
Bernews arrived just as the child was leaving, and speaking to his father at the scene, he told us the boy had been sent home from school, and that he was teaching him a lesson. The father added that some children today are too rude, and that he intended to teach the boy a lesson as to discourage further issues.
Update Dec 3, 6.57am: When asked to comment about having a child stand with a sign as punishment — not this particular incident but the general concept — Sheelagh Cooper, founder of The Coalition for the Protection of Children, said: “That is completely wrong.
“Shaming children just makes them feel worse about themselves and does little to encourage and promote a healthy giving and civilized individual,” added Ms. Cooper.
While I fully understand a parent’s frustration with their teen’s behaviour, I am completely saddened and appalled by this action. Public humiliation of a child is an abusive and short-sighted act and definitely not something that should be tolerated in a caring society. How is it that no-one intervened in this? All the people that drove by Crow Lane this morning…ugh! This is just a shocking act of cruelty against a child. What are we teaching our kids??:(
See my comment below… time for all the liberal belly-aching to end and people to toughen up, for the good of the kids!
The ultimate form of public humiliation is to have your name and face plastered all over the news for some heinous crime. A small bit of prevention is worth tons of cure.
But surely being rude can’t be compared to a heinous crime or even a criminal act. I think the action was excessive and shaming.
Let me get this straight: we don’t shame child sexual predators (via a registry) for the awful things they do – but it’s ok to shame a child for being rude? I wouldn’t even shame my dog like this. There are better ways of teaching children.
we should shame predators .
The kid was so rude that he was sent home from school, losing learning time etc. What punishment should the parent have taken? A talking to? You think the school didn’t try that already?
Kudos to the dad! I’m sure the child got the message.
It’s a scary world when we don’t want to hurt the feelings of a rude child. What do you think that child would turn into if people kept avoiding hurting his feelings but he kept being rude?
I agree with you Tough Love and I bet he’ll NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. TOO BAD SO SAD.
Yeah, and someone said smacking your child was abuse, now look at the mess we’re in.
The problem is when all these so called Child experts got a foot hold on how it is so bad to spank a Child – and managed convinced Govt Officials, Education Officials, Police and a large number of Perents that it was wrong
it simply made disipline very difficult for perents – infect it has only produced negative results – because of this most
of the most awful senseless Violent crimes are coming from our Children – a clear result of Parents not being able to give Childen today a Spanking. — so today its Shame Signs — saw it comming !
its going to be the next big thing!
I go plenty of spanks from my parents but never for the same things. Usually when you get a good spanking you smarten up enough the next time to either not do the same thing wrong or to not get caught lol. I got the cane in West End primary school and the belt at Sandys middle school. Corporal punishment was very healthy for me. It teaches you that there are harsh consequences for your actions in the real world. It also brings back that time old lesson, there is a time and place for everything.
I am very grateful for all the licks I got, it has kept me out of trouble. #ThankGodigotlicks
If I had come past, I would have intervened. I’d have stopped and shaken the father’s hand and congratulated the boy for having a father that cared about him.
No, I think the father took the easy way out. He is not the one teaching the child that his behavior was inappropriate – he’s having all of us who drive by do it for him. No Father of The Year Award for this guy. #AvoidanceParenting
It takes a village. We’re all a product of our environment.
Completely agree, I think there was nothing wrong with this action and that it will have taught the kid a lesson. Nobody likes to be embarassed, and hey if that’s what it takes to straighten him out, I’m all for that. Better than him beating the kid up. I commend this father and don’t honestly care if anyone thinks otherwise.
Perhaps teaching him that to every action, whether positive or negative, there is a consequence – one which could be enjoyed or perhaps not.
Sorry. I don’t condone this. It is cruel.
I think this would make him think twice.
A caring society, That’s why his dad did it because he cares for him, and more dads should have taken interest of their sons in that manner then we probably have less violence with our young black men.
Interesting so you dont really thing the inequality of the past had much to do with that but you say the fathers should have move of a role in the kids life……interesting ….
LOL
Well said, Kunta.
Understand the situation before commenting
So Cathy what exactly would you suggest for the father to do? Do you know this child and the appropriate step to correct his behavior? Everyone is different and what, might work for one certain individual doesn’t always work for another. So what is the appropriate step,
@Cathy , many differ with your view and I would venture to say that these same people mostly made up of minds that believe in this crap they call time out, I would also go onto say that they are those that think like our Mrs Cooper who became popular because of her belief system of how she believe a child should be raised… Cathy I agree with your thoughts and your view but don’t think most took the contents as the way you were trying to put it over, and just in case I am not on the same path I will tell you why I agree with you, this child rightfully deserved to be taught a real lesson in how to behave rightly, but to put this child through the humiliation of embarrassment,opens the door for a bigger problem.
Bullying is something we don’t highlight enough in this country within the walls of our schools, and this child being put on display not just down there next to Mr. Johnny Barnes, but now through the print media, opens this child up for bullying at a level that can become out of control and outright devastating, we don’t know what is being put in the minds of others to do or say and neither do we know what this now puts in the mind of this child, either way there are far more greater ways to have dealt with this then to be so ready to put this child on public display. i am old school and my child and I would have had a dance but that is me, it would be verbal and if needed it would have been the punishment meted out to me as a child that never killed me or lead me astray.
People of today who seem so educated and politically correct, can sometimes come up with the most idiotic methods of resolving a issue, and you wonder why education some times seems to be a joke, in the sense that all the education in the world without common sense is just as stupid as no education at all.
I agree! We need a program like this in our schools in Bermuda. http://www.rootsofempathy.org/
I agree. I think we need a program like this in our schools in Bermuda. http://www.rootsofempathy.org/
It called tough love, the boy will thank his dad for this later in life.
Well done Dad. Tough love. The best kind.
WOW – I hope this catches on! About time kids learned a little something. Shame all the liberal cry babies will call this ‘abusive, etc’.
Here here,, my dad would have cut my *** 1st!!!
He brobably had that option and chose the sign.
Good for that father. The courts should learn something from him & require thieves to wear shirts with “I am a thief” or “I am a drug pusher” on them.
When I got cained at school my only worry was my deddy finding out. Thank God we still have fathers around who give a ****.
awesome!
Bet that little boy will think twice about being rude in school again. Tough love is the best kind of love for kids these days especially our boys. He will realize down the road that his father gave a damn and that’s a good thing.
Cathy ! There is something wrong with poeple like you!! this is not ABUSE!!, Children should be made to realize the concequences of their negative actions early, so when they become Men and women they will think about the consequences of their negative actions later. If you are allowed to as a child to do as they please, when they become your age, Thier wrongs they believe to be right. Bend the Bow when it’s young, Because IF!! It gets old you will have to Break it.
Children can be taught right from wrong and given consequences for poor behavior without being shamed and humiliated. Why is it that people think children can’t learn how to behave unless they’re shamed and ridiculed? I seriously don’t understand. There are many people out there who were raised without this type of punishment who are honest, respectful, and law-abiding human beings. On the flip side, I challenge you to survey our prisoners and see how many didn’t get enough “punishment” as children.
The boy had probably been rude on several occasions prior to this one. You do not get sent home for the “first of fence” of rudeness. Hopefully a lesson learnt and well done DAD!
Again Cathy, you say there are other alternatives.What is the other Alternative? What is the appropriate punishment for this child?
…ship them off to boarding school.
They probably didn’t because their Fathers were either out partying or high.
@Cathy, the men in prison as you suggest received an abundance of punishment. Please do not equate punishment with discipline. What these men lacked was good parenting; good guidance without the necessity for physical correction. The issue with good parenting is that it takes time and lots of it, patience when they – the kid(s) get on your last nerve, the restraint not to resort to using your hand but to use your mind and appropriate language to teach/train/engage your child. Yes, I speak from experience.
Every child as you know is different, perhaps this method was the last arrow in this father’s quiver. It is really difficult to prescribe the best way without knowing all the facts.
What would make my day would be for both father and son back at the roundabout wearing the same sign: “We Worked it out!”
Smh well well well, bie I tell you…if school ain’t hard enough for a young brother smh they really tryna publicly embarrassing him while going through the school system in 2014??? Schools hard enough now he has to defend this?? Smh School in which most remember the cruel, coldhearted nature of kids dissing and bullying…you cut him and made him bleed publicly with sharks all around him in the school system…its 2014 smh come on mannnn 2000 stinking 14! These youts have phones etc, I will even bet some yout has probably already used photo shop to change the words on the sign…to…..”something else”
The bullying in school is worse now because not enough people are disciplining their children properly. I know I was a bully briefly. But the school told my dad and I had a belt waiting for me. It certainly made me think twice about doing it again. Good on this father for actually helping his child to break out of negative patterns early.
Well done that Dad!
Awesome, hope he beat the child before hand for good measure. Bet he won’t act up anymore.
Hey Sheila, everything you are fighting against is the things that help shape me to be the man that I am today.If more parents took the time to deal with their childrens issues then our teacher just might have time to teach them how to reach their potential.
I am shocked at the attitudes of the commenters so far. Children need stability and discipline, yes. But publicly shaming your child does nothing to address the root cause of the problem. It only further lowers self esteem, causing the child to act out again. It is psychological abuse by definition. I challenge you to find one child psychologist who thinks this is a good idea.
As for those of you suggesting that children should be hit to avoid them ending up in jail, why don’t you visit a prison and ask inmates how their parents treated them? Depending on which study you look at, anywhere between 50%-84% of prison inmates in the US were abused as children. Violence begets violence. You can’t tell your child not to hit others if you are hitting your child. You are modeling antisocial behaviour, why do you expect different results?
Bermuda is another world, I often feel like I’ve gone back in time here.
Disciplining your child through licks and abusing them are two different things. I think you better dig a little deeper with your research to understand the difference.
Thats the US’s stats, this is Bermuda. Another world like you said remember?
Sheelagh Cooper is ridiculous. She can go fly a kite with her response. The parent is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.
Had the father not addressed his child’s behavior then he would be criticized and the child will continue to do the same behaviors. Those behaviors could later have him end up west gate or dead. What will sheelagh cooper say then. Oh he needs a hug like eddy lamb says the prisoners need.
i applaud the father for his actions. Teach his child a lesson.
Our kids are very intelligent. They know that advocacy groups have made parents reluctant to discipline them. They know that teachers have to get approval from about 4/5 Administrators before disciplining them. So, some of our kids act with total impunity.
I am from the old school. My parents were in charge of me AT ALL TIMES. They were not my best mates. They were my parents. I thought long and hard before I did anything stupid. And if I did something stupid, I used to walk the LOONNGGG way home to delay the inevitable. My Mother would be right at the door waiting for my sorry self! If my Father was at the door waiting, game over! To this day, I do not know how my folks heard about my exploits before I got home. There were no cell phones and many houses did not even have phones. But they knew what I had done. Amazing.
My parent’s discipline is still my filter or guiding principle. I am a better person for it.
This father should be applauded for punishing HIS child without resorting to physical punishment. We should all just butt out and pay attention to the kids WE are raising.
If all if us disciplined our children they would not end up in boot camp.
Well done dad. We need more fathers like you. Bet your son or maybe even mine might think twice before he acts out in school again.
Agree, and to the dad, your son might not understand right now, but one day he will KNOW that you did that because you love him, and he will respect you for it….I can even picture you two laughing about it together over a beer or a coffee in years to come, because you created that close bond with him by caring enough!
There is no justifiable reason to subject any person to humiliation.
This is with out doubt the epitome of humiliation and degradation , which will leave scars for life.
“Those actions are completely wrong”.
There is always a better and kinder way.
that bie got off lucky….when I was rude, I got strapped by the Head Teacher and then got a cut a** when I got home….Cooper needs to sit down!
Many of these kids are extremely rude and are a burden on the system trying to deal with their behaviour. This father most likely thought this through and was probably at his wits end. As Bob Marley once said ‘who feels it knows it’
The father should have stood next to him with a sign saying, “I failed in bringing up a child with manners and confidence, I failed to show love and compassion and set boundaries and expectations for my child, the result is he learned, from me, to be rude and surly”
But mothers and fathers, i.e adults taking responsibility for their actions is madness…..
this forum shows how messed up Bermuda culture is on this topic, I don’t go as far to say it is abuse but it is not a correct method of discipline and will have little to no effect on the behaviour. All this tough love nonsense lol, tough love is an excuse for not doing your job as a parent consistently over the child’s life, now when you see things going wrong you justify your need for harsh reaction as tough love lol, keep working with that, i guarantee the children who leave yours behind academically, socially and professionally in life will not be a result on average from ‘tough love’.
BTW – just to keep it going, I consider the following abuse: Not loving your child’s other parent prior to having children, not living with your child, reading to them every day, hugging and kissing them good night every night, hugging their mom or dad in front of them every day, attending every parent teacher meeting, eating dinner every night at a table with the children, getting them membership to the aquarium, taking them to the park often, getting them involved with sport but then staying out of the way on the sidelines etc etc…… the previous is why i don’t need ‘tough love’ because i have provided unconditional love from the day my children were born. BTW, dose not mean my children are perfect, we deal with the tantrums, anger, sadness, frustration but that is normal, any adult who expects a child to be perfect has obviously forgotten where the mirror in the house is.
go head daddy, we need more parents like this because i bet his son won’t be rude in school again.people talking about humiliation whatever!! because growing up our parents would cut ya tail where ever you was and not care who was around and no body ever complained about it and my generation came up just fine. these children now days need tough love.plus maybe if we had more parents like this we wouldnt have so many of these fools out here trying to be gangstas and shooting people, and i not even hearing sheila cooper.
THEY SAY SPANKING YA CHILD IS ABUSE AND THATS WHY BERMUDA HAVING THE PROBLEMS WE HAVING WITH OUR KIDS. 
As an educator in Bermuda’s public schools, I see first hand how rude these children are today. It is beyond appalling the lack of respect they have for each other and teachers. Parents are so quick to put the blame on others and never on their precious child. So I say, “Well done Dad!” Way to think outside the box and stress the importance of proper behavior.
Now that is what you call a parent who is caring, loving and taking an interest in his child. So sad there are not more fathers out there like this one. The young man may not be to pleased with his Dad at the moment, but one day he will thank him. Back in the day we the society were not faced with the issues we have today, why because we knew what was coming when we got home. Your neighbors were your family and everyone looked out for the other. We have lost that today and look at what we are dealing with. Way to do Dad.
If we can’t give our child licks because it’s “abuse” nor can we try a non-physical way of disciplining our child, then what do we do? Hope that talking them to death as to why they shouldn’t do wrong works? Please, that’s why we have the problems we have now with our young people.
Hopefully the next time we see the Child and his Father, the Child will be holding a sign saying ” I’ve been extremely good in school.” Dad’s sign would say “I love my Son.” Then we can all honk and cheer as we pass by.
Try raising ya own children in this day and age. Well done to the father. I got bad behavior beaten right out of me! Would have taken the sign any day. Those beatings were right in front of my class.
Well done to the father… anyone who is against what this father did is delusional. The father cannot cut the boys tail due to bs child abuse interpretations, and the coalition for children are the main reason the kids are the way they are today… coalition should be ashamed that their actions have gotten Bermuda to this stage
Back in my school days u acted up in school u gt d belt frm the principle n u payed attention or made sure u wasnt goin back in the office. The moral 2 this story dicipline ya child dont embarass them.
I think this punishment is absolutely appropriate and indicative of a parent that really cares about the long-term wellbeing of his children. The father could have given his son a lecture. He could have given him a smack. Either way would have been easier for him, but instead he spent considerable time and effort contriving a punishment that is both non-physical and, i suspect, highly effective. Good man!
Sorry, but I don’t agree with this at all. When I was at work, one of my coworkers had a picture of the boy on his phone and was showing it around. Everybody was having a good laugh at this child’s expense. I said good LAUGH…and these are grown a$$ adults.
How many of us are rude to people on a DAILY basis? I don’t see any of us standing at the roundabout with a sign on us! Surely there was a better way to handle this without people taking this MINOR’S picture and circulating his image for the world to see. He has learned his lesson, has he? Something tells me this is going to backfire big time.
I applaud this method of new-age parenting, we don’t know what happened behind closed doors with this child and his parents so don’t be so quick to “suggest” how this should have been handled. It’s none of our business. But I do understand that some of these kids care more about what their friends think than what the rest of us think. A lil embarrassment can go a long way.
i am a 25 year old male and i see nothing wrong with that despite what anyone has to say i wish all parents where like that because you have some young men that are rude and disrespectful to parents and the community. The thing is you cant hit your children becauee it considered abuse so what that parent did i wish my parents would have did to me it teaches them self disapline and makes them think about there actions.Despite the child being in eyes view of the public i say hats off to the parent. Because you have alot of parents out there who know what there kids are doing weather it be school related crime relate etc and they turn a blind eye like nothing is wrong that is why are young men are growning up doing as they please.i was once a teenager not to long ago i know how things are this is coming from a young man who has seen it all and done it all when it comes to rude behaviour. My life would be so much better if my parents where more like the father in this article.
When a parent publicly humiliates their child, it’s bullying. Publicly shaming children is not how to raise kind, empathetic, secure children. Humiliation teaches a child that you don’t value him. It wears down a child’s self-image and self-respect. Ultimately, the lesson the child learns is to use power to make others comply. If you want children to respect you, you have to respect them. You do not have to respect the behaviors of the child; you need to respect the dignity of the human being.
This thread could be considered cyberbullying. Should everyone who commented in support of this type of discipline now wear a sign on Crow Lane saying “I participated in the group cyberbullying of a child”? Would this solve the problem or perpetuate it?
I agree! What all the people that are supporting this fail to realize is that people won’t soon forget this. His picture was taken, his friends/school mates saw him, strangers saw him and laughed. If this tactic worked, and he saw the error of his ways, he is going to be teased and reminded about it long after he cleans up his act. Is that fair?
I think we need a program like this in our schools: http://www.rootsofempathy.org/en.html
I remember one time when I was a teenager attending High School, one day I did something to get in trouble at school. My father punished me by making walk to school for a week, I lived to Paget and the school was in Pembroke, so you could imagine that walk twice a day. It worked since then I have never been in trouble again, became a straight A student, never been arrested and am successful member of society today. now that I have kids I am using this same approach to raising my kids and its working, so old school is what’s needed today. You do wrong you get punished not praised.
Well done dad!! I have a child that was in so much trouble at school and all the talking we as parents did with this kid was going in one ear and out the other. Gave that *** licks and the kid hasn’t been in trouble since!! You don’t have to beat the child just show them that their behavior isn’t accepted. Old school training works!!
How could this Father do this, Public humiliation how dare he. What kind of animal is he? Trying to correct his sons behavior before he ends up going down the wrong path and eventually being in the paper for a court appearance for some sort of charge steming from anti social behaviour that wasn’t corrected. Because being in the paper for being arrested for a crime isn’t humiliating it’s Cool.
I’m so sad reading this. Poor child, there are other ways to go about this instead of publicly shaming him…………
To add to my previous comment, now that the community knows this boy, this can be spun into positive by simply encouraging him with positive comments and question. It doesn’t have to be about oh there’s that rude child. Why not ask him if he’s doing good again and paying attention in school at least he’ll see people care and wish to see him do well. Wouldn’t work anywhere else in the world but Bermuda is another world.
Disrespect of others stems from lack of self respect. Self respect is learned at an early age and for the most part is learned in the home. A loving, respectful environment led by respectful parents, elders, teaches children self respect and translates/evolves into respect of others. So now guess where this young man learned his disrespect of others.
Remember the Golden Rule? Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. This applies to parenting, not just how people want to be treated as an adult.
Also lets see what history has taught us about the wearing of signs/symbols of a way public humiliation. How about the Scarlet Letter, Yellow Badge for Jews and Public Bare Footedness as a sign of Slavery. I believe that the majority of people would agree that this was cruel and mean and hateful and none would want to repeat these heinous crimes against humanity.
Now let us wonder what lessons the young man really learned this morning.
Oohhhh boooo hooooo…..his little feeling are hurt???? Really? I bet you a cut a$@ that he will think twice before acting up. I would rather see him with a sign around his neck now versus having him in handcuffs and orange jumpsuit later on.
Cathy talking about humiliation ! How many kids have humiliated there parent by going before the courts for gun and drug crime! The boys feelings mite be hurt but all of are kids need to understand everything that we do has a consequence!
I’ve seen the question asked a few times in this forum. “What do you consider appropriate punishment”. Strange enough, NOT ONE person has answered. WOW – Scary. How many of you agree that the so called — take away the cell phone – no TV – no internet – no going outside works. My teen years were the early to mid 70′s. Back then you would have been getting a cut a$$ while you’re standing on East Broadway and you better wave and say good morning to everyone going by.
I live in a area with PROBLEM CHILDREN (beybey’s kids I call them) where I was in MY living room trying to watch a lil TV. Kids (12 to 16) were literally outside of my window doing what kids do – which is perfectly fine… but I politely asked “Do you guys mind moving down just a bit so I can hear my TV please? You know what i got. TURN YA EFFIN TV UP. This is no lie. It took every ounce of strength out of me NOT TO GO OUTSIDE and kick the sh!t out of those kids.
A good a proper CUT A$$ worked just fine for me. I WILL DO THE SAME TO MINE. and if Ms Cooper or anyone else bitches or complains then YOU TAKE THE CHILDREN.
GO DADDY!!
People shouldnt tell people how to raise their child. If the father thought tht was best then thts end of story….sure there are ways to go about things but different strokes for different folks i agree with this
Sooner or later people will start saying all punishment is wrong lol XD
People are forgetting that children need to know who is in charge. Parents!! Once upon a time, if you didn’t get disciplined at home, you would at least get it at school. I am 34 and have had licks, been grounded, had to write lines/paragraphs, all because I didn’t follow instructions/ wasn’t obedient. For some children none of these punishments are necessary, but every child is different and must be treated as such. As I look to the older generations for answers, I have a hard time telling who is pyschologically, emotionally, and physically damaged. Especially since it was even harder in those times. Are the older, so-called wise ones trying to tell us that what worked for them, isn’t good for us??!! Maybe thats why anti-social behavior, and disrespect in all forms are on the rise, but its nothing that an old fashioned back hand won’t fix.
Sincerely,
Raised in a traditional, old school Bermuda home
I remember when I was a kid…. many years ago … I messed up my father took a stick to me … and put me in my room for 2 days… did I learn anything.. sure did.
I have 4 grown up children and a small boy ..8.. I gave up spanking many years ago… but they all know about a good poke in the chest. .. and apart from one of my boys spending a night in jail for outstanding warrants. .. ( and while he did not enjoy that he definitely learned his lesson) they all turned out ok.. but as a father..ex army and ex police a loud voice and a three works wonders…
Todays kids r very rude!
The people who are against what this father has done should shake his hand for keeping one less thug out of gang members clutches.Cooper I applaud the work you do for children lord knows some need the assistance,but you are wrong on this one.This same son will thank his father years from now,being a parent myself I have learned to appreciate tough parenting after becoming one.
If this father was doing this for every simple infraction I would say enough is enough but this doesn’t appear to be the case.
Also lets see what history has taught us about the wearing of signs/symbols of a way public humiliation. How about the Scarlet Letter, Yellow Badge for Jews and Public Bare Footedness as a sign of Slavery. I believe that the majority of people would agree that this was cruel and mean and hateful and none would want to repeat these heinous crimes against humanity.
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We are talking about a child that was out of hand in school not putting an entire race into slavery or the genocide of another…..I like your spirit but you are reaching on this on.
Apples and oranges me thinks.
@ Cathy your probably one of thos people after hearing about some kids breaking an entry or bullying or stabbing another kid sitting in your house saying it starts from the parents at home and the parents should have been more into thiose kids lives and know where he or she is at all times ! Well you know what I commend this father he has b@lls to stand up to his kid now a days most parents are afraid of them ! I have 2 boys myself and trust you me when they deserve a cut azz they get one ! there is no abuse here just straight up good old fashioned parenting! I bet this boy learnt his lesson and will think twice before he acts out again in school !