Column: Arandjelovic On Remembrance & Grief
[Column written by Nadia Arandjelovic]
There are certain moments in life that make you stop and think about what really matters. Sometimes it is a birthday, a major milestone or a significant change. Other times, it is the loss of someone you love.
As Remembrance Day approaches, it offers an opportunity to pause and reflect on the people and moments that have shaped our lives. While we take time to remember those who are no longer with us, it can also prompt us to think about the people we still have, the experiences that have changed us and the things we sometimes take for granted.
But remembrance can also be deeply personal. For me, one of the most significant periods of reflection came after losing my father in 2013. I was in my mid-twenties, at an age when I was still trying to figure out who I was, what I wanted from life and what kind of woman I hoped to become. Losing a parent was something I knew could happen one day, but I never imagined experiencing such a significant loss so early in my adult life.
I don’t think I fully understood at the time just how much it would affect me.
Grief has a way of changing your perspective. It can shift your priorities, alter your relationships and leave you questioning things you previously took for granted. For a while, I lost sight of myself. I was trying to navigate life without someone who had been an important part of my story, while simultaneously trying to work out what the next part of that story was supposed to look like.
Looking back, I can see that I spent a long time simply getting through life rather than being intentional about how I wanted to live it. And while it’s important to give ourselves permission to grieve, I also believe we must eventually find the courage to keep moving forward.
That doesn’t mean forgetting someone or that the pain disappears. It means allowing ourselves to experience life again: to laugh, make plans, pursue opportunities and discover who we are becoming. It also means remembering who we were before life became difficult.
I think many women experience a version of this, even when their circumstances are different. We can become so consumed by what is missing that we forget to appreciate what is already here. We focus on the career we haven’t built, the relationship we wish we had or the opportunities we think we’ve missed, overlooking the people who already show up for us, the friendships that have lasted and the everyday moments that make life meaningful.
This isn’t about pretending everything is perfect or giving up on wanting more. We can be grateful for what we have while still wanting something to change.
As we approach the end of another year, take a moment to consider three things in your life that you don’t want to take for granted. Then ask yourself: Am I living in a way that honours who I am, what I’ve experienced and the woman I still want to become?
We cannot change what we have lost, but we can choose what we do with the time and opportunities ahead of us. Sometimes remembering isn’t just about looking back. It’s about finding our way forward.
- Nadia Arandjelovic
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